Classic one-liners

52 stories in this section.

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.

I have a joke about construction.

A pen without a lid is a temporary tattoo machine.

The rotation of Earth really makes my day.

Postcards arrive after you've forgotten the trip, which is the point.

Object number 10 on my desk has outlived three planners.

Object number 11 on my desk has outlived three planners.

Toast lands butter-side down to teach humility.

Weather apps are fiction with percentages.

My spam folder knows me better than my calendar.

Scented candles solve problems they created.

A swivel chair makes every decision feel executive.