Classic one-liners

52 stories in this section.

Wi-Fi weather

The Wi-Fi is fine until a guest arrives. Then it becomes seasonal.

Mirrors tell the truth after coffee, not before.

Object number 4 on my desk has outlived three planners.

Plastic bags hold infinite items until you reach the car.

DIY projects are optimism measured in millimeters of regret.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

Object number 1 on my desk has outlived three planners.

Washers don't steal socks. They collect matching pairs for a private gallery.

I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia.

Libraries sell silence by the hour and knowledge by the armful.

Object number 6 on my desk has outlived three planners.

An elevator is a place where strangers agree to stare at numbers together.